7 Tips for Dealing with Difficult Parents
Date postedFebruary 15, 2024
These friendly reminders posted in a District Administration article by Brett J. Novick can help you renew or build connections with families. The middle suggestions are more reactive in nature and the final are proactive!
- No surprises. Keep parents informed regarding student learning and progress and issues that arise. With cell phones and social media at everyone’s fingertips, it can be difficult to be the first to communicate in some instances; in those where you readily can, do.
- Never ignore. If a parent sends an angry email or leaves a frustrated voicemail, follow up in a timely manner—even if it’s to say you need more time to gather more information. Though it can be difficult, don’t take it personally. Seek first to understand, and then offer whatever information that they may not have to help them see the more complete picture of what happened.
- Stay calm. Breathe. Notice if your jaw is clenched or your shoulders are up to your ears, and relax those muscles. Tap into curiosity in your own mind—I wonder what this parent doesn’t know about this situation? I wonder what else might be going on here or in their life? Or, tap into gratitude. What can you appreciate about this parent? This moment?
- Protect others. When you’re dealing with a parent who has a history of being verbally abusive and/or aggressive, protect your staff. Let them know that you are there for them and will step in as needed.
- End unproductive meetings. If emotions escalate and the parent is dysregulated to the point of profanity/verbal abuse, end the meeting. Get up and open the door. If you’re on the phone and can’t get a word in, talk over them to let them know you’re hanging up. Reach out to reschedule is as appropriate.
- Consider a Civility Standard or School Community Code of Conduct. How do you want anyone who engages in your school community to show up? Sharone Bar David’s Trust Your Canary book provides helpful language to include in a civility standard; here's a summary.
- Know your parents. The more you know, the better you can navigate any conflict that arises. Find the 10 parent “types” and advice for working with them.