How to Disagree Across Power Structures

Use these five questions to help you navigate disagreements effectively.

A recent Smart Brief blog post explores strategies for respectfully and effectively disagreeing with a supervisor (your lead principal, the superintendent, or other colleagues).

1. Ask “Would you be willing to be challenged?” Asking permission shows respect and regard for the person and indicates an interest in collaborating. You can couple the question with your intent to support the decision regardless of what it is, and your purpose to surface any gaps and possible misunderstandings.
2. Ask “Would you be willing to hear another point of view?” This question invites curiosity and creates a “psychologically safe space for dialogue.” Be sure your energy and intent are aligned. If you’re asking the question, but it sounds like judgment and doubt, you’ll undermine your collaborative efforts. Be genuinely curious and invitational-- ““Can I share an idea that might add to what you’re thinking?”
3. Ask “Would you be willing to explore exceptions to this policy (practice, consequence)?” Some decisions made by others may feel rigid or overly generalized and may be rooted in unresolved conflict. Again, ensuring your energy and intent are aligned, asking this question can help introduce the nuances and contexts that can make general application of the decision challenging. You might also say, “This rule seems effective overall — are there situations where it might not work as intended?”
4. Ask “Would you be willing to share how you arrived at that conclusion?” Listen to gain insight and understanding. Based upon what you learn, you might use Question #2 — “Can I share another perspective you may not have considered?”
5. Ask “Would you be willing to delay this decision?” When you’re concerned about fall-out or honoring lines of communication, this can be an effective question. You might also offer a reason for the delay — “Would it make more sense to make this decision after we run it past the building leadership team?” OR, “Do we want to check with HR or the superintendent prior to moving forward?”

The key to effectively engaging in disagreement is to ensure your energy communicates the same thing as the words coming from your mouth.

Read the full article here.