Words Not to Say

Dan Rockwell in a recent Leadership Freak post offers Things Smart Leaders Don’t Say. The following is a summary that appears in Kim Marshall’s Marshall Memo 905, October 4, 2021 (used with permission). Read the full Rockwell post.

1. I should have… This is “backwards facing,” says Rockwell. Better to say, “Next time…”

2. You should have… Again, better to start with, “Next time…”

3. What can we do about that? “It’s insincere to say ‘we’ when you mean ‘you,’” says Rockwell. Better to ask, “What could you do next?”

4. It’s simple. It’s easy. What’s simple to you may be difficult for others. “Judge people through the lens of their experience and strength, not yours,” says Rockwell.

5. I don’t care. Whatever. People who say this often do care but are afraid to admit it.

6. Don’t you agree? This question pressures people to agree or insults their intelligence.

7. Failure is not an option. “People set low goals when failure is not an option,” says Rockwell. Better to foster a culture where people feel safe to learn from mistakes.

8. But… “‘But’ is an eraser,” he says. “Never say ‘but’ after saying something good. Try using ‘and’ when you’re tempted to use ‘but.’”

9. I didn’t mean to… This is a way of not taking responsibility. “Say what you intended, not what you didn’t intend,” says Rockwell. “Own it and move on.” 

10. Nice job. Be specific when giving compliments; what was “nice” about it?