Not Letting Email Stress Us Out

Adam Grant in an NYT article discusses how we can shift our attitude toward email as urgent and take a more realistic approach to both composing and responding. He offers 7 strategies.

The following is reprinted with permission from Kim Marshall, Marshall Memo #983, April 24, 2023.

In this New York Times article, Adam Grant (University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School) says he frequently gets reasonably prompt responses to e-mails starting with the words, Sorry for the delay. “Apologizing for slow replies is a symptom of unrealistic demands in an always-on culture,” says Grant. “It’s a recipe for burnout. And it prizes shallow reactions over deep reflection. We wind up rushing to get things done instead of doing them well.”

The truth is that most e-mails are not urgent, but they’re perceived that way. Grant suggests the following strategies for reducing anxiety and improving the quality of our responses – when we get to them:

• Telegraph non-urgency. The simple step of writing, “This isn’t urgent, so get to it whenever you can,” makes a big difference, he says. “When you know you don’t have to reply to e-mails right away, you can actually find flow and dedicate your full attention where you wish.”
• Stop mistaking promptness for politeness. Grant used to pride himself on responding to e-mails within 24 hours, but the pandemic changed that. Now it’s common to see e-mail signatures like My work hours may not be your work hours and Answer at your convenience.
• Don’t take it personally when a response is slow. “How quickly people answer you is rarely a sign of how much they care about you,” says Grant. “It’s usually a reflection of how much they have on their plate.”
• Don’t try to bump a message up in someone’s inbox. Again, we don’t know what’s going on in their lives, he says. If you’re really concerned about not hearing back, re-send the e-mail with the note, “Just wanted to make sure this came through.”
• Have self-compassion and rethink what counts as late. “If you didn’t commit to a deadline, you can’t be late,” says Grant. “You’re allowed to take your sweet time!... Express gratitude to your correspondent for being a reasonable human: thanks for your patience.”
• Stop apologizing. This is especially important for women, says Grant. “Women apologize more than men, because they tend to have a lower threshold for what qualifies as offensive behavior. This isn’t in their heads – it’s in the culture around them. We live in a world that places unfair pressure on women to drop everything for others. When a man takes a week to respond, he must be busy with something important. If a woman takes even a day to reply, it feels as if she’s failing to live up to the duty of care.”
• Batch-process your e-mails. It’s much more efficient (and satisfying) to attack a full inbox in two or three efficient blitzes each day than in dribs and drabs.

📝 Dana’s Note: In your mentoring partnership, discuss the following:

1. What successful strategies have you implemented for navigating email overload?
2. What expectations do you have for response time? How have you communicated that to stakeholders and staff?
3. What are your expectations for how staff handle email, and how have you communicated these expectations?
4. What from Adam Grant’s list will you incorporate into your own practice?